retr0smash 2007-10-17 18:11:43

lmao complaint generators sure are fun

Kavinel 2007-10-18 14:58:13

t t t

Delta66 2007-10-18 20:50:55

Incoherent snowmen are in my basement HELP ME

TheSoulMan 2007-10-19 19:40:50

My complaint about Sinitron

I've been doing a lot of meditating and praying lately and this has helped me collect my thoughts and organize them into the letter you're about to read. Let's review the errors in Sinitron's statements in order. First, I sincerely find Sinitron's demeanor and pomposity downright apalling.

Speaking of the worst types of rabid imbeciles I've ever seen, if I were elected Ruler of the World, my first act of business would be to help others to see through the empty and meaningless statements uttered by Sinitron and his acolytes. I would further use my position to inform certain segments of the Earth's population that I want to force Sinitron into early retirement. But first, let me pose an abstract question. Is Sinitron hoping that the readers of this letter won't see the weakness of his argument relative to mine? As you no doubt realize, that's a particulary timely question. In fact, just half an hour ago, I heard someone express the opinion that last summer, I attempted what I knew would be a hopeless task. I tried to convince Sinitron that he is eating our lunch. As I expected, Sinitron was unconvinced. Sinitron's attendants portray themselves as fervent believers in freedom of speech and expression, but are loath to reveal that Sinitron contends that it is not only acceptable, but indeed desirable, to pursue a twofold credo of statism and hooliganism and that, therefore, newspapers should report only on items he agrees with. This bizarre pattern of thinking leads to strange conclusions. For example, it convinces pathological pop psychologists (as distinct from the myopic, impolitic demoniacs who prefer to chirrup while hopping from cloud to cloud in Nephelococcygia) that Sinitron answers to no one. In reality, contrariwise, Sinitron's smear tactics are like a Hydra. They continually acquire new heads and new strength. The only way to stunt their growth is to remove the misunderstanding that he has created in the minds of myriad people throughout the world. The only way to destroy his Hydra entirely is to provide more people with the knowledge that Sinitron is lacking in the social graces. Yes, I could add that I suspect that people who work with his compeers discredit themselves, but I wanted to keep my message simple and direct. I didn't want to distract you from the main thrust of my message, which is that Sinitron claims that the purpose of life is self-gratification. I aver that the absurdities within that claim speak for themselves, although I should add that Sinitron recently claimed that sin is good for the soul. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from him a hundred times before. Only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that it is not uncommon for Sinitron to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole mutinous affair as some great benefit to humanity. Mankind needs to do more to insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward Comstockism. Understand, I am not condemning mankind for not doing enough; I am merely stating that if Sinitron were paying attention -- which it would seem he is not, as I've already gone over this -- he'd see that his initiatives are continually evolving into more and more testy incarnations. Here, I'm not just talking about evolution in a simply Darwinist sense; I'm also talking about how before Sinitron initiated a denominationalism flap to help promote his soporific intimations, people everywhere were expected to bring meaning, direction, and purpose into our lives. Nowadays, it's the rare person indeed who realizes that I'll tell you what we need to do about all the craziness Sinitron is mongering. We need to give Sinitron a rhadamanthine warning not to destroy our culture, our institutions, and our way of life. Sinitron's dumber than dirt. Hard to believe? Then consider the following statement from one of Sinitron's violent brethren: "Sinitron defends the real needs of the working class." Pretty uncontrollable, huh? Well, there is something grievously wrong with those disdainful insurrectionists who force women to live by restrictive standards not applicable to men. Shame on the lot of them!

Call me fickle if you'd like; I will still do everything in my power to free Sinitron's mind from the constricting trammels of misoneism and the counterfeit moral inhibitions that have replaced true morality. Then, I will announce to the world that I feel no more personal hatred for Sinitron than I might feel for a herd of wild animals or a cluster of poisonous reptiles. One does not hate those whose souls can exude no spiritual warmth; one pities them. Be that as it may, he is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to his squibs.

Sinitron's myrmidons claim to have no choice but to goad the most neurotic loudmouths you'll ever see into hurling epithets at Sinitron's enemies. I wish there were some way to help these miserable, dictatorial, grumpy harijans. They are outcasts, lost in a world they didn't make and don't understand. If you ever ask Sinitron to do something, you can bet that your request will get lost in the shuffle, unaddressed, ignored, and rebuffed. He periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual.

The whole premise of Sinitron's announcements is false, and his arguments are specious at best. Up the ante considerably if you like, Sinitron, because I simply don't care. It will not be easy to counteract the subtle, but pervasive, social message that says that the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to his demands. Nevertheless, we must attempt to do exactly that, for the overriding reason that it is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to compile readers' remarks and suggestions and use them to sound the bugle of liberty. It may be soothing and pleasant for Sinitron to think that he should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury, but he exhibits an air of superiority. You realize, of course, that that's really just a defense mechanism to cover up his obvious inferiority. You might say, "It frustrates him that he can't shut me up." Fine, I agree. But if I said that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being thoroughly honest if I said that Sinitron's opinion is that he knows the "right" way to read Plato, Maimonides, and Machiavelli. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that by writing this letter, I am unequivocally sticking my head far above the parapet. The big danger is that Sinitron will retaliate against me. He'll most likely try to force me to wander around in a quagmire of self-pity and depression, although another possibility is that I didn't want to talk about this. I really didn't. But from secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, his goombahs have always found a way to wage an odd sort of warfare upon a largely unprepared and unrecognizing public. Let me quote to you from the words of my attorney: "Sinitron wants to rid the world of 'defective' people." Let me end by citing my standard hate-mail response form letter:

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. One question, though: Do you actually want Sinitron to force us to adopt rigid social roles that compromise our inner code of ethics? Because that's what'll happen if we don't expose injustice and puncture prejudice.