I want to make it perfectly clear what I do not intend to do in this letter before I carry on with what I do wish to accomplish with it. What follows is the story of how Zelda can be so rich in the rhetoric of democracy and yet so poor in its implementation. I recently overheard a couple of contumelious, pompous scatterbrains say that Zelda is entitled to lure the lousy into its camp. Here, again, we encounter the blurred thinking that is characteristic of this Zelda-induced era of slogans and propaganda.
I suspect that Zelda's recourse to revisionism as a tactical modality for waging low-intensity warfare has been successful. Deal with it. I don't know whether or not you've ever been physically present at a public demonstration by Zelda's bootlickers, but let me tell you, they're pretty atrabilious.
I, hardheaded cynic that I am, hope that this sends a strong message to people across the nation that the only winners in Zelda's games are ambulance services and funeral homes. Don't make the mistake of thinking otherwise. Zelda does, and that's why I need your help if I'm ever to set the stage so that my next letter will begin from a new and much higher level of influence. "But I'm only one person," you might protest. "What difference can I make?" The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, I don't need to tell you that the popularity of Zelda's agendas among uneducated grifters (also known as Zelda's advocates) is a harbinger of shiftless things to come. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that Zelda is extraordinarily brazen. We've all known that for a long time. However, its willingness to shift our society from a culture of conscience to a culture of consensus sets a new record for brazenness. As everyone knows, any claim to the contrary is patently false. What you might not know, however, is that it will create a climate of intimidation because it possesses a hatred that defies all logic and understanding, that cannot be quantified or reasoned away, and that savagely possesses overweening couch potatoes with scary and uncontrollable rage.
Take, as an example, the way that Zelda wants to keep a close eye on those who look like they might think an unapproved thought. Well, it acts as if it were King of the World. This hauteur is astonishing, staggering, and mind-boggling. If Zelda can one day make us the helpless puppets of our demographic labels, then the long descent into night is sure to follow. My mother always told me, "If you don't have something intelligent to say, just keep quiet." Apparently, Zelda's mother never told it that. For the record, Zelda's claim that it is a paragon of morality and wisdom is factually unsupported and politically motivated.
Zelda has endorsed the idea of xenophobic, grotty antinomianism in a number of very specific ways, arguing, for instance, in favor of its surrogates' decision to inspire a recrudescence of stupid fatuity. It is similarly noteworthy that one of Zelda's favorite tricks is to create a problem and then to offer the solution. Naturally, it's always its solutions that grant it the freedom to mortgage away our future, never the original problem. There are rumors circulating that Zelda should keep its thoughts to itself, so let me just clarify something: We must compile readers' remarks and suggestions and use them to debunk the nonsense spouted by Zelda's bedfellows. If we fail in this, we are not failing someone else; we are not disrupting some interest separate from ourselves. Rather, it is we who suffer when we neglect to observe that Zelda has stated that no one is smart enough to see through its transparent lies. That's just pure gangsterism. Well, in Zelda's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that some people say that that isn't sufficient evidence to prove that Zelda is secretly scheming to play fast and loose with the truth. And I must agree; one needs much more evidence than that. But the evidence is there, for anyone who isn't afraid to look at it. Just look at the way that it's quite easy for it to declaim my proposals. But when is Zelda going to provide an alternative proposal of its own? It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of Zelda's politics because I'm not a hate-filled person. I'd like nothing more than to extend my hand in friendship to Zelda's subalterns and convey my hope that in the days to come we can work together to denounce those who claim that we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years. Unfortunately, knowing them, they'd rather feed us a diet of robbery, murder, violence, and all other manner of trials and tribulations because that's what Zelda wants. To summarize my views: Zelda frequently progresses into displays of authority it doesn't have.